An end isn’t always an end

A soft apocalypse: An end isn’t always a beginning--usually it isn’t even an end.

“I’ve never understood why this was the album that got them on the map,” a boy stated staring up at the dusty rafter beam above him.

“Well,” a girl a chimed in, “this one does have the most main stream appeal--I know you like the bed room pop stuff--but you gotta remember they needed to be marginally famous enough to even get picked up.”

“That’s a good point,” he rolled on his side to look at her lying on the shaggy carpet scarp on the unfinished hardwood, “there was that remaster of ‘Inversion Sixteen’ that was fine, but it really lost the analog charm. I pretty sure they recorded the original demo on an old tape recorder. That gives it charm.”

“I agree. ‘Inversion’ is still my favorite album of their, but it has such a mood associated with it that I can’t really listen to it anymore without getting overwhelmed--or if I’m already.”

“yeah” he replied holding the last syllable until it wasn’t audible.

Vibrating as it oscillated slightly back and forth, the fan jostled the old pealing wooden table creating a quiet tapping which mixed with the ambient hum of the blades cutting through the stale attic air. A soft breeze carried the warm aromatic summer air in from the world beyond the small window propped open by a stack of well-read paper backs.

The sun hung low in the sky, streaks of scarlet and amber mixing with the flowing waves of violet and azure floating idly above the horizon. A deep yellowy haze permeated the air, filling the world with a suffocating warmness as the long summer day came to a close.

“I’m just--” the boy began, rolling onto his back, legs outstretched dangling over the edge of the bed.

“We can head out if you’re getting stuffy up here?” she suggested.

“Yeah I need a change.”

The air-conditioning hissed out sharp cold air, tingling his hands as he gripped the textured plastic wheel. Eyes tracing the curves and grooves of the asphalt as it slid under the car, music blasted out of the speakers, the melodious sounds intermingling with the hum and bump of the road.

She looked over at him, smiling a little. His usually slicked hair was messier, the curls more lively, a single lock dangling from his forehead. His eyes were squinted, face slightly upset, but she knew that was just how he looked when they were driving and she was blasting music. Flicking his head to the side, the curl bounced and came to rest slightly less in his eye than before.

“I just--nevermind” he said, quickly looking away at the empty bar to their right.

Swinging slowly in large languid arcs, the overhead fans provided a slight breeze to keep the diner from getting too stuffy. A poorly noise-insulated wall and overhead speakers kept the space full of a low level clatter of noises and soft melodies, keeping the level of default stimulation high enough to not cause unpleasantness.

“What?” she pressed, reaching across the table, knocking the half empty plate of mozzarella stick with her forearm as she grabbed his hand.

“I just feel like some much is happening but there’s nothing to do. I mean you’re moving out east in a couple weeks, I’m heading north; I don’t know what we’ll do.”

“I know. I love you, and we can try to make it work. I’m sure my dorm will have a telephone close-by and I can call you every night. We can talk about all the fun adventures we’ve been getting up to.”

“I feel like I only get up to fun with you, El.”

“Oh shut up; you’re more fun than me.”

“That’s true”

Her hand quickly released and slid back across the table. Adjusting her glasses, she looked back at the boy.

“Arc, we’ll be fine--you’ll be fine. Even if we don’t make it, I’ll still always care about you and be your friend.”

“Thanks.”

“Of course.”

Looking up at Arcturus, Eltanin observed him staring lecherously at the single slice of cheesecake ordered for the both of them. The moist cake sat idly between them, a single fork resting on the plate, its prongs lying in the drizzle of red syrup.

“You can have the first bite” Eltanin let out.

“No no. I want you to. I know how important cheese cake is to you.” He responded not looking away from the soft creamy desert waiting inches from his mouth.

“Here.” She picked up the fork and began handing it to him before it was snatched.

Sliding the flank through the cake, he deftly cut out a sizable portion from the front, making sure to properly crack and recover the crust. The enjoyment washing over his face as he chewed it made Eltanin smile.

“Do we know if school is even going on next year?” Eltanin blurted out quietly, not able to leave it unaddressed.

“They haven’t told us anything.”

“But you’ve seen the reports. I’ve heard my parents arguing about it.”

“I try to not think about that. The NAEZ protectorate says it shouldn’t impact anything.”

“Shouldn’t impact anything? They’re dredging sanguine ducts!” Her voice peaked as she made eye contact with an older man knitting his eyebrows at her. “How can we just ignore that.” She continued in a loud whisper.

“I don’t know. The blood harvest already began in some provinces and things seem to be fine.”

“I don’t know either. God I just wish things could continue normally.”

“yeah. It’ll work out though, El. I mean people must have felt like this when they first came, right?”

“Do you even remember before?”

“I was eight. I have some vague memories but nothing really tangible.”

“Yeah me too. Just some impressions, but for more than half my life they’ve been here.” She responded looking down at the remainder of the cake. “Everything is changing all the time, but I never do anything. I feel like I’m getting pulled through life sometime.”

“I know what you mean.”

“Do you? You know why I chose to go to Elmhorn? I just did it on a whim. God, I feel like even when I’m given a choice, I’ll either just get crippled by its mundanity or simply go on impulse for life decisions. And everything else in life is chosen for you.”

“I’m sure that’s not it. You have a lot of control.”

“Who chose to go to the diner?”

“You did.”

“No. I suggested we do something; you said diner. Sorry, I’m just overwhelmed. Like you said, I need something to change.”

“We can go for a drive--just talk or be quiet together. Something?”

“I think that would be good.”

Brakes squeaking softly as the car rolled to a halt in the dry dirt. Sending out the last ruby envoys of light scattering off of the smooth black hood, the sun peaked below the ridge line miles away. The radio flicked off, as the engine hummed to a stop., Releasing his hand from the key, Arcturus reclined, turned a faint smile to Eltanin, then looked out at the sunset.

“Well.” He let out

“well.”

Eltanin unbuckled, folded her leg under her and looked out at the valley. Scanning her eyes over the scenery, she traced the massive track of the sanguine duct stretching from the east towards the Saphin Alter in the west.

“Why’d we come here?” She asked

“I don’t know. Remember when we came out to this overlook in sophomore year?”

“yeah.”

“You asked me if I had ever kissed someone and I said yes. I lied. That was my first kiss.”

“I know.”

“You knew this whole time?”

“Yeah. It was obvious from how bad the kiss was.” She turned a large grin to him.

“tsk” he threw his hands up lightly and turned to look out the side window.

“I’m kidding. It was really nice. I just knew. Something about it. It wasn’t bad; it was intimate.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

She stared into his warm blue eyes, the familiar smile showing just a little too much gums, the cute way his nose scrunched.

“I don’t think we’ll be able to make long distance work.” She said softly, breaking his gaze to look back out at the ridge.

“I was thinking that too. I just didn’t want to admit it.”

“It doesn’t mean what we had--have--isn’t special. It just means we won’t be together.”

“And we could always cross paths again in the future, right?”

“Of course. There’s just so much changing. I just wish you could be my rock.”

“I want you to be my rock too.” He responded, the moisture in the corner of his eyes building up. “Eltanin there’s just too much.”

“I know” she said, a tear clinging to her eyelid

She reached out and grabbed his hand, squeezing it tightly. Leaning across the console, he wrapped her up in an embrace. With his face pointed away from her, he could let out tears.

“I’m gonna miss you so much.” He said, fighting to keep his voice cool and level.”

“I’m gonna miss you, too.” She let out quickly.